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Posts Tagged ‘Cocaine’

On Christmas night at the early hour of 6PM, I slipped into bed, sipped from my well-steeped cup of cannabis tea and opened my computer. My thought was to make some sort of plan for the remaining six days of the year. Not so much a to-do list as a muddle-about-file which I could, now and then, dip into without too much difficulty in order to pass the time while waiting for this arbitrary section of my life to dribble on to the next.

The first thing to pass through my mind was Joyce’s opening line to Ulysses: “Stately, plump Buck Mulligan came from the stairhead, bearing a bowl of lather on which a mirror and a razor lay crossed.”

Stately Plump Buck Mulligan

I haven’t the slightest idea why it did. Except perhaps, to encourage me to contemplate why I would consider ending the year pondering the opening line of Ulysses. Perhaps, having not yet consumed enough tea made such reflection worthwhile. Maybe, my subconscious was attempting to jump-start the evening’s descent into irrelevancy.

The second item to suggest itself as a subject worth ruminating on was the first thing I read on my computer after opening it. Under a heading entitled notable events on history on this day, I read: “1194 Frederick II, Holy Roman Emperor, King of the Romans [Germany], Sicily and Jerusalem, born in Lesi, Italy.”

That was something I felt was of little more consequence. Or, at least, I generally considered that someone who in his time was referred to as “Stupor Mundi” (Wonder of the World) was someone of greater consequence than “stately plump Buck Mulligan” and his shaving utensils — Then again perhaps not. Fredrick later in life was also referred to as “The Anti-Christ.” Nevertheless, I still felt, someone who held suzerainty over most of Medieval Europe, was of more consequence than a fictional med-student with flamboyant grooming habits — Then again, perhaps not.


Nicholas II — Stupor Mundi

“Stupor Mundi” was clearly not fictional, although his adventures and the stories about him rival that of any character inhabiting the world of fiction. As to why I would consider intentionally including the contemplation of one or the other or both into my remaining six day’s of 2018, I have no idea. Perhaps it is because it is a mystery requiring a solution and that always pleases one’s consciousness. Perhaps it does not. Maybe it just has something to do with the cannabis. Take chess, for example, it has always appealed to me as a worthwhile way to cut two or three hours from one’s life. On the other hand, cocaine, cannabis and a host of other things, I think would do so as well, without requiring your consciousness to leap from the chair in which it had been dozing and actually exert itself entertaining you.

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1492 August, Christopher Columbus sails from Spain and arrives in the Bahamas in October.

There he vacations on the beach and invents the Mai Tai, but it failed to achieve much success because, since he did not get to China as he set out to do, he did not have any of those tiny paper umbrellas.

Undeterred Columbus goes to a gambling casino in hopes of winning enough money to demonstrate to the King and Queen back in Spain who paid for his holiday because he knew how to make a hard-boiled egg stand on its end, that they had made a wise investment. Unfortunately Columbus lost all of his money and two of his three boats besides.

Desperate, Columbus fills his remaining boat with cocaine and smuggles it into South Florida where he makes enough money to buy back his two boats and return to Spain.

1493 Columbus returns to Spain.

The King and Queen greet him as a hero, relieve him of most of his loot and promptly order him to return and get some more. This pissed Columbus off. He had hoped to retire to a villa on Mallorca with his ill-gotten gains. Instead he all he could look forward to was spending another six months in a leaky wooden boat with a bunch of scurvy sailors. Nevertheless:

1494 Columbus sets sail again from Spain.

He lands in Jamaica where the Arawak indians call him Jerk, because Columbus looked to them like desiccated meat. This insult so enraged Columbus that he promptly enslaved the Arawaks and gave them smallpox so that they all died.

But the Arawaks had the last laugh because in return for Columbus’ gifts the Arawaks gave Columbus Syphilis that he then brought back to Spain. This did not please the King and Queen as much as the loot from the smuggled cocaine so they sent poor old Columbus back to sea again and then things got even worse.

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