Feeds:
Posts
Comments

Posts Tagged ‘Jabberwocky’

10588900_10204867413902150_189178716_n_2

It was the Golden Age, after the pill and before the scourge of AIDs. Like all Golden Ages, people’s attention turned from mere survival to self-indulgence, self-absorption, and self-aggrandizement or as some say Hedonism, Mysticism and Capitalism and still others simplified to Sex, Drugs and Rock and Roll.

Now at that time, the City of San Francisco was one of the centers of that age, often referred to as “new”, when society as a whole suffers from a mass attack of Alzheimer’s.

In the City at that time there lived a man who, like most people, wanted fame, fortune, and sex. Like most people, he believed it was his right to not have to work too hard for it.

Eastern Mysticism was sweeping the country then and attracted a wealthier class of adherents than the ever-popular Pentecostal Christianity. Besides, burning books and sexual suppression was not popular then.

So, he decided to become an eastern spiritual leader. He called himself “Baba Giufa” because it sounded like something an eastern mystical guru who could become popular and attract a lot of followers would call himself.

Now Baba Giufa knew in order to be successful he needed to assemble his own followers. So, one Saturday he put on a white busboy’s jacket and a pair of mostly white pants with a string belt. On his head, he placed an old white Panama hat from which he had carefully cut off the brim and on his feet, he wore a pair of pink rubber flip-flops.

So attired, he went into Golden Gate Park at about 3PM. He sat himself down on the heavily traveled sidewalk along-side the road that ran past the Japanese Tea Garden and the DeYoung Museum across from the Band Shell.

He sat in what looked like the traditional lotus position but really was not because he found the lotus position too uncomfortable but as long as it looked a little like the lotus position he thought that it would do for his purposes. He had no idea what to do with his hands, so he placed them palms up on his knees because he thought it looked like the picture of a Yogi master he saw somewhere. He closed his eyes and then he began to chant…

Actually, Baba Giufa did not know any chants. But in school, he had memorized Lewis Carrol’s poems the Walrus and the Carpenter and the Jabberwocky. By reciting them in a very low and sing-song voice he hoped that it would seem to sound a lot like chanting. And, it did.

Whenever he finished chanting one of the poems he would open his eyes as wide as he could until his irises seemed to float in bloodshot white seas. He also stuck his tongue out as far as he could. To most observers, it appeared as though he was having a seizure of some sort. Then after a few moments, he would retract his tongue, close his eyes and begin his chanting again.

Now after a while at this, a crowd began to gather around him; some because they were upset that he was sitting on the well-traveled sidewalk forcing them to detour around him, others out of curiosity and still others attracted by his seeming other-worldliness.

Finally, a skinny, inquisitive young man with long flowing hair and a scraggly beard that was in fashion at the time, approached him and inquired, “Who are you and what are you doing here?”

Baba Giufa stopped his chanting, opened one eye, and stared at the young man for a while and then asked, “Do you have friends and family?”

“Why yes I do.” replied the startled young man.

“Then let me tell you this,” Baba Giufa responded in a voice loud enough for everyone to hear, “I am called Baba Giufa and I have found the secret to inner peace and happiness and if you want to share the secret with me then next Saturday at precisely 3 PM bring along your family and friends and I will return and instruct you all.”

With this, Baba Giufa rose from where he was sitting, passed through the crowd and went home.

Next Saturday at precisely 3 PM, Baba Giufa returned to the same place in Golden Gate Park and found a crowd of about twenty people standing around. The skinny young man was sitting on the sidewalk cross-legged directly to the right of where Baba had sat the previous Saturday. Baba took his seat and began his chanting and spasms. This continued until the inquisitive young man leaned in towards Baba and said in a loud voice, “Baba, last week you told me that if I gathered friends and family here at precisely 3PM on the following Saturday, you will instruct us all on the secret to inner peace and happiness.”

With that Baba Giufa rose from where he was sitting and looked over the crowd that had grown quite a bit larger since he had arrived.

Baba Giufa then asked the crowd, “How many here know what I am about to say? Raise your hands.”

No one raised their hands.

“Than why.” said Baba Giufa, “should I say anything to those who have no idea what I will speak about? I will return here next Saturday at precisely 3 PM and at that time I will instruct only those that really want to know, the secret of inner peace and happiness.”

With that Baba Giufa passed through the crowd, left the park and returned to his home.

On the next Saturday at precisely 3PM Baba Giufa returned to the park and resumed his seat and chanting. This time the crowd was much larger. Also, although the young man remained seated on his right, an attractive blond woman in a granny dress with flowers twisted into her hair sat on his left.

Again after a while the inquisitive young man leaned towards Baba Giufa and asked of him the same question.

Baba Giufa rose from his seat and observed the ever-growing crowd and shouted so that all could hear, “All those who know what I am going to speak about raise their hands.”

This time everyone had been instructed by the skinny inquisitive young man to raise their hands when asked that question and they all did so,

Baba Giufa look at them for a moment and then said, “Why should I speak at all to any of you when you all know what it is I am going to say? I will return here next Saturday at precisely 3 PM and instruct those who truly wish to know the secret of inner peace and happiness.”

With that, he passed through the crowd, left the park and returned home.

On the third week, at precisely 3PM on Saturday Baba Giufa returned to the park. This time he carried a bunch of paper in one hand and a shoe box in the other. He found a crowd even larger than the last time. And, not only was the inquisitive man and the comely woman already seated on each side of his place on the sidewalk but several other seekers were assembled on the sidewalk as well. In addition, surrounding his place were several vases filled with multi-colored flowers. He took his seat and handed to the inquisitive young man the bits of paper on which he had written his name, Baba Giufa, and his address and phone number. In front of himself, he placed the shoebox in which he had cut a hole into the top and on which he had neatly lettered the word “Donations”. He began his chanting.

Eventually, the skinny man leaned towards Baba Giufa and asked the question again. This time Baba Giufa did not rise, instead, he simply stared at the shoebox in front of him.

After a while, everyone got the idea and several of the onlookers came forward and dropped money into the box. When Baba Giufa was satisfied that no further contributions were forthcoming, he stood up and addressed the crowd. “All of you here that know what I am going to say please raise your hand.”

About one half of the crowd, having been well-trained by now, raised their hands.

Then Baba Giufa said, “All those who do not know what I am about to say raise their hands.”

The otter half of the crowd did so.

“Well then,” said Baba Giufa, “I would appreciate it if those who know what I am going to say would tell those who do not. For those really interested in learning the way to inner peace and happiness I have given to my first disciple here, who shall hereafter be known as Babu Beardo, scraps of paper with my telephone number and address on it.”

And with that, he picked up the shoe box made his way through the crowd and went home.

Advertisements

Read Full Post »

%d bloggers like this: